Troubled Love
by Yaoi Lover 969
Summary: "Allen, I'm with you because I love you and because you make me the happiest man on the planet. Why can't you see how much I love you, how much I need you?" OOCness Rated M for later chapters


KandaXAllen

Allen's POV

I smiled as I held my daughter in my arms she was going to be five in a couple of days. She giggled and played with my silver hair. "Do you like my hair, Ran?" I asked chuckling softly. She grinned wide nodding vigorously. I smile petting her on the head. That's when Kanda walked in his expression as unemotional as ever as his hair swayed behind him.

"Ran, come see daddy let mummy rest," Kanda said. He was actually grinning a little at calling me mummy. I couldn't help but smile as I watched Ran and Kanda play together. Ran always made Kanda laugh and smile more than anything even me. "You want to lay your head on my shoulder to nap, Allen?"

I looked away and curled up on the opposite side of the sofa resting my head on the arm of it. "Here will do fine..." my once happy mood turned to one of depression. Kanda looked at me, confusion showing in his gorgeous eyes. Normally I'd jump at the chance to lay on Kanda in anyway; it was most unlikely that I'd refuse.

Ran noticed my depression and crawled back to me. "Mama what's wrong?" I gave her a fake smile touching her cheek softly.

"Nothing Ran I'm just tired...think I might just go to bed..." I said picking Ran up and placing her in Kanda's lap completely avoiding eye contact as I stalked into the bedroom.

Kanda's POV

I wanted to know what was wrong so I told Ran to go sit in her room if she stayed there till she was told she could come out then mummy would cook her cookies. With that she was quietly in her room. I let out a sigh as I headed to the bedroom. I was sure not to make a noise as I stood in at the door way. Allen was curled up into a ball on the bed in complete silence I could hear him crying.

My cool calm attitude dropped in an instance, I walked closer to him his tears glinted in the dim light from outside. When he finally noticed me he quickly hid his face into the duvet. I knelt down beside the bed panic was written all over my face now. One hand gently gripped the duvet trying to pry it from Allen's face. "A-Allen what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

When I had managed to pry the duvet from Allen's face he looked at me hurt evident in his gorgeous orbs. "D-do I...not make you...happy?" Allen asked in a hushed voice his eyes slamming shut as more tears fell down his gorgeous white cheeks.

"Allen, how could you think that you don't make me happy? Just hearing your name makes me feel like I'm on cloud nine." His eyes opened to reveal hard hurt eyes glaring at me.

"LIAR! You're only with me because of Ran! I don't make you happy! She does!" I was a little shocked from the initial yell but to hear his words dripping with venom as they left his mouth made me feel sad and hurt.

"Allen, I'm with you because I love you and because you make me the happiest man on the planet. Why can't you see how much I love you, how much I need you?" I figured this was going to take long and would be loud it would scare Ran to pieces so I rang Lenalee and asked her to come to get Ran to let herself in with the spare key and to ignore any yelling or breaking of objects and to please not ask questions.

Allen hissed at me as I put the phone down. I've never seen this side of Allen before he's usually so kind and caring but before my very eyes the Angel that I loved was turning into the Devil. "YOU LIE!" Allen yelled as Lenalee came in.

"Allen, I'm not lying! What is so hard for you to understand! I want to spend the rest of my life with you! A family you me and Ran and possibly more kids in the future! Why can't you see it!" that was it I'd snapped. The one well two people I never wanted to see me like this.

No matter what I said to Allen he wouldn't listen he insisted I was lying. I leaned forward taking Allen's hand in my own trying to calm him down. I rested my forehead against his looking deep into his eyes as his tears started to fall once again. "How come you can't smile or show emotion with me huh Kanda?" he whispered softly.

I kissed him softly "I can, I am," I said gently tone hoping it would be over. Allen returned the kiss which made me happy but then he pulled away he got up and started packing his things. I looked up at him in horror. "A-Allen where are you going?"

He didn't look at me as he replied, "Away. There's no point in being where I'm not needed or wanted where I'm not loved…" with that he left the room and headed to the front door.

Just as he was walking down the hall to Lavi's place I stood at the door. "Allen you idiot! I do need you I want you here beside me! I love you so much! God I was going to ask you to marry me!" That stopped him but only for a couple of seconds. He looked at me shook his head and kept walking.

I stalked back inside tears falling freely. I went and lay on the bed picking up Allen's top that he had neglected to pack. I snuggled close to it and fell asleep crying.

Allen's POV

I knocked on Lavi's door praying he was in which he was. I stood there with my suitcase tears falling down my cheeks. Lavi panicked when he saw me and rushed me inside. I somehow managed to explain everything and he held me close.

A couple of days later Lavi had managed to coax me out of the room for food I fretted about seeing Kanda in the halls Lavi's expression darkened. Now I was worried "L-Lavi...?" I fretfully asked.

"Allen, Kanda hasn't left his room for days, he won't let me in wont eat or drink, and he won't even see Ran anymore. I keep going over to talk to him but his door is locked and he refuses to open it. He says he's fine but he's clearly not."

I looked at him in horror. This wasn't like Kanda, Kanda was cocky. "W-why didn't you tell me?" I asked as tears welled up in my eyes. He patted my head.

"I know how much you love him and how much you're hurting I didn't want to add to it." I nodded slowly. "Hey Allen cheer up a little I'll keep trying to get through to him." I nodded again and tried to smile. "Come on we need to get you some food."

With that he grabbed my hand leading me out. When we arrived at the lunch hall everyone was looking shocked but relieved. Lenalee came and gave me a hug Ran was standing where Lenalee was just seated. I signalled for her to come to me and she did she ran tears falling in happiness. "Mummy, what's wrong with you and daddy?"

I looked away "Ran, don't worry about it everything is ok..." Lenalee gave a stern nod telling her to stop which she did. I sighed moving to my table not having much of an appetite which was unusual. I ate my small amount of food before getting up and headed away telling Lavi I'd go alone. I headed instinctively to Kanda's. I turned and was about to walk away until I heard a scream from inside. It was Kanda's voice, he was in pain. I panicked and started pounding on the door screaming out for Kanda to answer me.

"Kanda!" tears fell as Lavi approached me he pulled me into a hug but I pulled away and started pounding on the door again. "Kanda! Open the door you bastard!"

That was when a strained, pained voice answered me, "A-Allen...arh...go away...I d-don't want you...to b-be here...when they f-find me...go...!"

Lavi saw my panicked expression as I patted down my clothes looking for the key. "Allen go get the key quick!" I nodded and ran as fast as I could back to Lavi's before coming back to Kanda's I was shaking as I returned Lavi took the key and opened the door. The place was pitch black.

"K-Kanda...?" I said shakily. As we moved through the place we heard raspy breaths coming from the bedroom. I ran into the bedroom to see an extremely pale Kanda clutching a t-shirt of mine which was now covered in blood. "Kanda!" I yelled collapsing beside him touching his cheek that was slowly losing its warmth. Lavi came in beside me horror in his face.

Lavi's POV

Allen wouldn't leave Kanda's side so I went to call Kamui. He came quickly. Forcing Allen to leave so he could operate, Allen was a crying mess in my arms as we waited. Lenalee came after hearing the commotion. I explained to her about it her eyes wide with shock.

Allen's POV

A few hours later Kamui came out. "He's resting on the bed, he's going to be fine." I sighed softly. "Allen you can see if you want but don't wear him out he needs plenty of rest." I nodded giving him my thanks.

I walked in and sat next to him placing a hand on his cheek. "I'm so sorry my love, because of me you stabbed yourself. I'm so selfish..." at that moment Kanda's eyes opened slowly.

"No love I wasn't expressing my love and happiness enough I was the one that drove us here." Tears welled up again. "Hey don't cry my love." He stretched a hand out to try and touch my cheek.

"I'm sorry my love. I love you so much i don't want to lose you ever!" Kanda smiled a sincere smile as i take his hand in my kissing it softly.

"Then come back to me," He whispered. I nodded bending over to gently kiss him on the lips.

"This doesn't mean that I forgive you for attempting suicide," I said with a pout. He chuckled weakly. "Rest my love."

"Only if you stay beside me," Kanda whispered softly. I blushed laying beside Kanda on the bed. He rested his head on my chest smiling softly as he slipped into unconsciousness.

Kanda's POV

When I awoke Allen was asleep I smiled at him loving Allen's sleeping face that I'd missed for so long. I must have been staring at him for ages as I didn't notice him wake up. "K-Kanda...?" I snapped out of my trance and smiled at him blushing lightly.

"Morning love," I said ignoring the question as I slowly rose from the bed.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going? Kamui said you have to get plenty of rest!" he snapped at me. I turned and smiled at him.

"Allen, calm down I heal faster than you think." He huffed and pouted which made me giggle. I slowly walked over to him bending down rather painfully to kiss him. "Don't worry love I'll be fine. You can punish me if I'm not."

"I'll do more than punish you I'll skin you alive you big dummy!" he looked away cheeks flushed from the kiss. I chuckled softly.

"Anything you want love?" his blushed deepened making me smile more.

"It's weird having you giggle and smile so much but I like it." I grinned. I bent down pulling his head towards me gently kissing him.

"I love you Allen Walker and I know now is a bit of a wrong time but I can't wait to ask you anymore. Allen walker will you make me the happiest man on the planet and become my wife?"

He blushed deeper looking deep into my eyes as I showed him the ring. "Yes! Kanda! Yes!" i grinned and placed the ring on his finger. "Kanda you should go see Ran she was very upset because you wouldn't see her." I nodded.

"Allen wonna come along? We have the marriage to tell them all about together anyway/" he stared at me for a couple of minutes.

"You just want help getting there don't you?" i laughed nervously. "Oh well two birds one stone." He smiled and helped me up. We got dressed and headed out he held my hand helping me to Lenalee's room.

We knocked on the door and Lenalee answered shocked to see us both standing there. "K-Kanda...Allen...hi," Lenalee said unsure.

Ran, ran out to us "Mummy, Daddy"! She leaped into Allen's arms giggling while reaching out for me. I held her hand smiling; everyone came out hearing Ran giggle and the proclamation of 'mummy' and 'daddy.'

Shocked faces greeted us Allen was looking rather shy now. "I'm glad everyone is here. Allen and I have an announcement," I said happily. Everyone was looking expectantly at us and Ran looked confused. "We're getting married!" everyone looked at us shocked.

"Hey Ran want to come home?" Allen asked her and she nodded excitedly. Allen smiled. "But you have to lay of daddy for a while since he's injured." Ran nodded eagerly.

Lenalee, Lavi, Kamui and Krory came up to congratulate us while the rest said it from afar to suspicious to come closer. I sighed lightly at that but thanked the others.

With that we all headed back to our rooms. Smiling happily we settled down in front of the TV. "Hey Ran sorry we missed your birthday we'll make it up to you." Ran nodded and we smiled happily at each other.

The end


End file.
